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Should I get a paternity test? | |
If everyone has told me my whole life that this one person is my father, but there is a doubt in his mind, should I go have a paternity test done? He lives in Hawaii, and he and my mom were going through a divorce when I was born. But me, I really don't see how anyone else could be my biological dad. Also, my parents that raised me, including my blood-related mother, told me they would "be dissapointed" if I got a test done. Don't I have a right to know for sure?
The parents who raised me were my biological mother and my step-father who is like my real father. I call him "daddy." I am now 25 years old and have gotten by without my biological father, so what would that change if I suddenly "knew for sure" who my biological father was?
Answers:
1It sounds like you are in a rough spot. I don't think your mom would be disappointed if you get the test, that is just her way of trying to keep you from getting hurt in this situation. If this man who hasn't played an active role in your life for 25 years suddenly out of the blue wants you to take a paternity test to "make sure" he is your biological father it would definitely raise red flags in my book! But the bottom line is this, it's YOUR choice not anybody else's.
How much of your life changes after the test is an open question. It mainly depends on your family dynamics. This test may change more things about your life than you realize. If you are really close to your mom, sit down and talk with her about it. Tell her that this is something you just need to know, that it won't change anything about the way you feel about her or your dad no matter the result, that it is just one of those things that need to have a definite black-and-white answer for YOU.
Your mom apparently has a not-so-great history with this man and she sounds like a wonderful mother trying to protect her child from getting hurt. Talk with your mom, really talk to her about how you feel about the whole situation, and get the test done. Otherwise, now you will always wonder.
The tricky part is him being in Hawaii. There are some great home DNA kits you can buy, but you need to figure out how to test yourself and then him and then mail it off to the company. Again, something to include in your talk with your mom. One I have used and trust the results of: http://www.genetree.com/landing/paternity-tests.asp
Best of luck!
From:
Your dad is the person that raised you loved you and cared for you why would you want to call someone else dad?
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